Unpublished: Home Away From Home
Home Away From Home
by K-Robe
Scene One.
New York City. Upper East Side. Sidewalk set, with a single BUS SHELTER in the middle From stage right enters DENNIS and KELLY, our intrepid heroes from FLEETING MOMENTS. Dennis is dressed to impress with a fashionable jacket and a stylish beanie. Kelly is dressed a little bit more casual in a flannel and jeans, but the earrings and jewelry betray her true intentions. The two are laughing as they enter.
KELLY
I haven’t had that much fun in years!
DENNIS
I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. Although, I could’ve done without the heckling.
KELLY
Heckling?
DENNIS
Yeah, when you were in the back whistling at me.
KELLY
That wasn’t heckling, I was supporting you.
DENNIS
Ah yes, the ancient support tactic of whistling aggressively in the background. I was getting flashbacks to when Coach Rafferty used to complain about my asthma.
KELLY
You have asthma?
DENNIS
I – yeah, I never mentioned this before?
KELLY
Not as far as I remember.
DENNIS
I’m almost sure I told you about that time that Coach Rafferty whistled at me to get up from the ground after I collapsed in the middle of a mandatory run in Central Park. I was having an asthma attack, only I couldn’t focus on it because of that godawful noise from the whistle.
KELLY
You had an asthma attack in the middle of a run? Were you okay?
DENNIS
Yeah, I mean – I’m not dead. I count that as “okay.”
KELLY
(Laughing.)
I guess so! But this coach of yours sounds like a total douche nozzle.
DENNIS
He’s a douche nozzle, alright.
The pair take a seat on the bench, clearly tired from whatever happened previously.
KELLY
This was a fun night.
DENNIS
Yes, that it was.
KELLY
So, those were your friends?
DENNIS
An eccentric bunch, aren’t they?
KELLY
More like “crazy.” And very touchy-feely.
DENNIS
We hug. It’s just what we do.
KELLY
Even total strangers?
DENNIS
Those are the best people to hug because they never expect it.
KELLY
Two people I’d never met before in my life hugged me from opposite directions. Then three more people nearly tackled me to the ground. It was pretty scary… and sort of intimidating.
DENNIS
Scary, really?
KELLY
I’ve never been hugged that hard before. And I honestly think I’ve been hugged more today by people I don’t know than by people I do know during my whole time in high school.
DENNIS
Huh.
KELLY
Huh?
DENNIS
Huh.
KELLY
Okay, we’re stopping this here.
DENNIS
Apologies. I’m just perplexed.
KELLY
Perplexed?
DENNIS
As to how you could possibly have gone through four whole years without any hugs.
KELLY
Don’t get me wrong. My boyfriend and I – (beat) – ex-boyfriend and I used to hug all the time. But, you know, in bed. I never got any of that stuff from my… friends.
DENNIS
(Slight pause.)
Right.
KELLY
I don’t know… I guess it’s just something I’m not used to. All this… attention.
DENNIS
(Smiling.)
Well, you definitely don’t need to worry about being scared now.
KELLY
(Nervous.)
Yeah… I don’t know. These Arrowsmith people are really weird.
DENNIS
Good weird though, right?
KELLY
I guess.
(She shakes her head.)
No, yeah. Of course they are. Good weird.
DENNIS
Are you okay?
KELLY
I’m sorry, it’s just… this was daily life for you when you were in high school?
DENNIS
(Cautious.)
Yeah, I mean… lots of physical contact.
KELLY
And the friendships.
DENNIS
Hmm?
KELLY
And the relationships you had – or have, I mean – with your friends. They felt, you know, meaningful? Like you weren’t just faking it the whole time?
DENNIS
Aside from the occasional “I totally listened to that new Ed Sheeran song,” then yeah. It was pretty genuine. We all cried when we had to leave, especially the underclassmen. For a long time, my year had been the bedrock of our little group. I used to manage the logistics for the open mic so it’s nice to see that Julia Lovett is keeping things up and running, though their new sound guy has got nothing on Noel Grant. The feedback was crazy during Through the Fire and Flames. And through your song, too. Sorry about that. I sorted it out with the new sound guy but I couldn’t get to you in time.
KELLY
(Taking it all in.)
It’s fine. (beat) You really love it, don’t you?
DENNIS
(Smiling.)
Arrowsmith is home. The boys and girls from around here and Faber High School over there are some of the best kids on the block. A lot of us are pretty square but I think we make it work.
KELLY
Yeah, a lot of you guys come off pretty goody-two-shoes.
DENNIS
Part of our magnanimous charm.
KELLY
(Light chuckle.)
Whatever you say.
DENNIS
Seriously, though, don’t worry. My friends really like you.
KELLY
You think so?
DENNIS
Well, I’ve never met anyone they haven’t liked. (beat) And you can sing and play guitar. That always puts people in their good graces.
KELLY
You think they liked my song? I thought the band might be a bit obscure.
DENNIS
Grouplove is great stuff. We don’t really have an “indie” person, so maybe you can take that spot. How well do you know indie music?
KELLY
Really just Grouplove.
DENNIS
Then, you’ll find your niche eventually.
KELLY
You’re talking like I’m already part of the group.
DENNIS
Our family grows fast.
KELLY
Hmm. Family…
DENNIS
I miss ‘em a lot. College can be such a curse sometimes.
KELLY
More drinking and partying though, right?
DENNIS
(Laughing.)
Maybe for you guys! I’ve always been more of an Archie-style food at the diner kind of guy. Lots of great restaurants up here in the Upper East Side, you know? Remind me to show you around sometime.
KELLY
(Smiling.)
I’d love that.
The two sit in a bit of a silence before Kelly speaks up, eager to get the conversation rolling once more. It seems she has trouble finding a topic, though, stopping herself multiple times before she decides on one. Her nervous demeanor returns like she doesn’t really want to talk about it but can’t stop herself.
KELLY
By the way… I saw you with that girl. The redhead.
DENNIS
Nancy?
KELLY
Yeah, the Irish girl.
DENNIS
What about her?
KELLY
Are you two, you know, a thing?
DENNIS
What?
KELLY
Are you two dating?
DENNIS
No, I – how did this come about? What makes you think that?
KELLY
I don’t know, I mean – the two of you were getting really close in the audience. Just leaning in and whispering into each other’s ears.
DENNIS
We’re just friends. We were making fun of her little brother when he sang the Pokémon theme on stage. And we were laughing at Jordan Tort’s hair.
KELLY
(As if she didn’t hear.)
I think she slapped you, too, on the cheek – and you both laughed, like you enjoyed it. I almost rushed over to see if you were okay. Then she moved in like she was concerned and you hugged her and she hugged back.
DENNIS
We’re back to the hugging thing again. What is it with you and your phobia of hugs?
KELLY
I don’t have a hugging phobia!
(Crossing her arms.)
I’m just saying. It doesn’t look like something friends do.
DENNIS
You seem awfully concerned about my love life.
(About to say something, before slyly smiling.)
Are you jealous?
KELLY
(Eyes widen, like she’s been caught.)
Let’s just drop this.
DENNIS
(Grinning.)
You are, aren’t you?
KELLY
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
DENNIS
You want me to bunch about against you…
(Sits against her, arm around her shoulder.)
…and laugh when you make jokes...
KELLY
(Clearly flushed.)
Shut up…
DENNIS
And whisper in your ear…
Dennis leans into Kelly’s ear. Her body language is showing her clearly freezing up, unprepared for how physically intimate the situation was becoming.
KELLY
(Squeaking noise.)
Instead of whispering anything, Dennis bites Kelly’s earlobe. She jolts in surprise, pushing Dennis away and play-punching him – laughing all the while.
KELLY
You son of a bitch! Oh, I hate you so much right now!
DENNIS
(Laughing.)
Sorry, sorry! I couldn’t help it! When you told me you were ticklish in your ears-
KELLY
(Still laughing.)
I wasn’t giving you permission to bite my ear off!
DENNIS
Alright, alright. Fair enough!
(Grabs her wrists, stopping her play-fighting.)
But I think we’ve been presented with quite the elephant in the room.
KELLY
Oh, you’re going into smug mode. You know I don’t like that.
DENNIS
I just like teasing you so much.
KELLY
You love teasing me.
DENNIS
That’s right. And I’m going to keep teasing you because… you like me.
KELLY
No, I don’t.
DENNIS
When was the last time you spoke with your ex-boyfriend?
KELLY
What?
DENNIS
When was the last time you spoke with him?
KELLY
I – what does this have to do with anything?
DENNIS
Answer me, please.
KELLY
(Hesitant.)
The night we met, right before I got to Penn Station. He kissed me.
DENNIS
That was three months ago.
KELLY
Yeah, so?
DENNIS
So, you went three months without seeing your ex-boyfriend who, I think you’ve told me, you allegedly hang out with quite a bit even after your breakup. But this new paradigm – with you not talking to and ignoring him – just so happened to start after you met me.
KELLY
No…
(Distraction mode.)
Hey, have you noticed that the Q32 hasn’t gotten here yet?
DENNIS
Come on, Kelly.
KELLY
(Angrily.)
What do you want me to say, Dennis? You want me to say that ever since that night we started talking at Penn Station that I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind? That I keep thinking about your dorky choice of words and your stupid City College art history lectures and your dumb messy hair? And how jealous I am of you actually having a social life with friends who treat you like family and how I so desperately want to have a piece of something like that, finally? YES, I’m in love with you, okay? With everything about you.
Kelly is huffing, exhausted from the monologue. Dennis’ face holds an expression of shock. Kelly immediately places her hands over her mouth, like she couldn’t believe that she’d said any of that.
DENNIS
You’re… in love with me?
KELLY
Oh, God. Three months is too soon, isn’t it? Look, all my boyfriends in the past have complained about me getting attached too quickly but something feels different about you; I don’t want us to – mmph!
Dennis places a hand on Kelly’s mouth, interrupting her. He looks pensive; his turn to be nervous.
DENNIS
If you’re asking me out on a date, the answer’s yes.
Kelly’s eyes widen, then soften. Dennis takes away his hand.
KELLY
Really? As in – you want to start dating? I mean, I’m weird-
DENNIS
Which is a good thing!
KELLY
(Smiling, uncontrollably.)
Thank you.
DENNIS
Thank you?
KELLY
For… spending all this time with me.
DENNIS
I like you, Kelly. I don’t know if I love you yet. But that’s what the process is for, isn’t it? “Falling in love” – it’s all part of being in a relationship.
KELLY
I haven’t been in a relationship in such a long time. I might be out of practice.
DENNIS
Don’t worry. We’ll both be.
KELLY
Can I kiss you now?
DENNIS
Do you expect me to ever say no to that?
Kelly leans in, pressing her lips against Dennis’. The two share a kiss as the stage slowly fades to black. We hear sounds of a bus arriving… then leaving. After a moment, we hear their voices.
KELLY
(Giggling.)
We missed the bus, didn’t we?
DENNIS
Yeah, but that just means more kissing for you, doesn’t it?
KELLY
(Loving sigh.)
Yes. Yes, it does.
END.
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